Actually, Sex Is Meaningless

Most people want sex to have meaning. It doesn't. We GIVE sex meaning, using all kinds of ideas—intimacy, manliness, spirituality, marital duty, "sexiness," and so on. That could be OK, but we then pretend that the meaning we care about is inherent in the sex—and argue with anyone who has a different idea of what makes sex meaningful. Accepting that sex is meaningless can make it much easier to enjoy, and create intimacy (if that's what you want). Say your body doesn't do what you want it to--she doesn't climax, or he loses his erection--it doesn't mean anything. It's just disappointing, there's nothing to quarrel about, and a couple can continue to have sex, or decide to stop--and still be friendly.