Ep.45: What I’ve Learned In 5 Years Alcohol-Free

I am excited about this podcast because it is my five year anniversary of the day I quit drinking! When I look back at the number five, it seems impossibly large. I remember when it was so hard for me to get past day five. 30 days seemed so big. 100 days was an accomplishment that I was bursting with pride and over a year was more than I thought I would ever achieve. In this episode, I wanted to look back and share with you the big things I've learned over five years without alcohol. Here are the 25 things that helped me and surprised me. The things I didn’t know when I started out and the lessons I’m continuing to learn now. If you're just starting out, are sober curious or have five months alcohol-free or two years on this path, here's a look ahead to my experience and takeaways from the decision to quit drinking and live a life without alcohol. 25 Things I’ve Learned In 5 Years Without Alcohol Not drinking is not the goal. Not drinking is the foundation for all other things you want to do, feel, be and achieve in your life. It's ok to have zero idea of what you want your life to look like without alcohol. You don't need to wait until you actually want to stop drinking. If you wait until you want to stop drinking, you’ll never get started. Quitting drinking is so much easier with help Words Matter. Labels matter. Approaches matter. Keep trying until you find the right one for you. Once you stop drinking, you don't have to be living in “recovery”. You can just be living. When you stop drinking, your world gets bigger, not smaller. It will be more exciting and adventurous. Stop trying to please everyone. You are meant to be happy. You are not stuck. If you don't like something, change it. You have power, agency and you get to decide what you put up with and what you don't. If something isn't right in your relationship, you don't actually have to deal with that and make it right before you're able to stop drinking. Not drinking makes you more calm and capable to address other things in your life that are problematic. In every situation you should ask yourself “what do I want?” We spend most of our time just “making things work”, juggling projects and meeting the needs of other people. Figure out what makes you happy, fulfilled, relaxed, honored and appreciated. Pay close attention to who in your life lights you up and who drags you down. Edit the people you spend the most time with to include those who lift you up, see the best in you and inspire you to live a better life. Nobody is perfect so stop trying so hard to be everything to everyone. Your worth is not meant to be measured by how much you accomplish. The period before you stopped drinking, when you're going back and forth in your own head over and over again, is the hardest place to live. The way you feel in early sobriety will not last long. You will not live the rest of your life wanting to drink and white-knuckling it through that feeling. That stage doesn’t last that long. Nobody just stops drinking and never goes through a hard time or a difficult challenge and never thinks about drinking again. You will need layers of support to keep yourself in a good, balanced and happy place emotionally And the support you need is going to evolve and change at different times in your life. If you feel like you want to drink at some point it’s not the end of the world (and it doesn’t mean that you’re going to drink). Look at it as a helpful red flag. It's an SOS telling you that something in your life needs to change - that there is a boundary that you need to draw, there are adjustments that need to be made. You will not live the rest of your life desperately wanting to drink and denying yourself that desire. You will get to the point where you are just a healthy, happy and confident person who used to drink and doesn't anymore because you feel better without it. Making sure that you keep yourself in the green zone emotionally is a daily calibration. And you will get used to doing it in the same way that you take a shower, brush your teeth and decide when to work out. The micro adjustments will become second nature. You always need something to look forward to - so plan all the good things. Having things to look forward to gives your life an atmosphere of growth. Never question the decision to stop drinking. There is a reason that you've come back time and time again. Don't overthink it. Just take it off the table. Drinking too much or too often, over drinking or not having an off switch is not a moral failure. It's just a maladaptive coping strategy that worked in the short term and doesn't work in the long term. And if you drink often enough, sliding down the path to becoming habitually, emotionally, psychologically or physically addicted to alcohol is somewhat inevitable because alcohol is an addictive substance. Everything in your life is not magically going to be better when you stop drinking, but it is a whole lot better. This is just the beginning! Resources & Links Mentioned Episode 34: Quit Drinking With Identity Based Habits, Because Willpower Doesn’t Work Episode 35: Break Your Habit of Drinking in Four Steps - Change Your Cue, Craving, Response + Reward Cycle Episode 36: The Habits Tipping Point - When Choosing Not To Drink Becomes Easy and Simply Part Of Who You Are Episode 37: How To Manifest The Shit Out Of Life Support, Resources and Tools To Help You Go Alcohol-Free Drink Less + Live More today with The Sobriety Starter Kit. The private, on-demand coaching course you need to break out of the drinking cycle - without white-knuckling it or hating the process. Grab your Free Sober Girls Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First 30 Days Find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to her website, www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Take a screenshot of your favorite episode, post it on your Instagram and tag me @caseymdavidson and tell me your biggest takeaway!