When Sex Is NOT About Sex

When people come to me wanting to change their sex life, I start with some straightforward questions (their age, kids, job, etc.). Then we talk a bit about their sexual situation ("Is it also like that when you masturbate?", "How long have you been upset about this?", etc.). I then want to talk about things such as guilt, anger, body image, and anxiety, to name a few. That's because, for most people, sex is about more than sex. The range of what people want from sex is almost endless. Here are a few notes about patients who wanted to talk about sex—and who was impatient when I wanted to talk about...